What Goes Around: Judge Carney


As a general rule I try to avoid writing about people who are certifiably mad.  People who in a sane world would be just sectioned and locked away with no hope of remission.

I’m not talking here about people who are border-line mad.  Some of my favourite writers were or indeed are.  Some of my best friends—yes, I do have a few—have often told me that I myself am border- line. Me?  I even had one partner who, after we split up, took to sticking pins into a doll that she had made of me.  And she said that I was mad!

They are out there, I tell ya!

One guy in Ireland, however, crossed the border line a long time back, so naturally, since this is Ireland, he is now a judge.  A judge who is notoriously soft on rapists. A judge who gave a suspended sentence to a rapist—Adam Keane—in 2007 after he had raped a deaf woman whilst she slept.  That judge said that he let him go because it was “out of character” for him to behave as he did.

That judge is Paul Carney, the man who hears seven out of ten of all rape charges in this country.  But he believes that he’s not like everybody else.

So let me get this straight, Carney—you’ll excuse me, I trust, if I do not use your very many titles because I have absolutely no respect for you—if it was myself, then by your reasoning, since I am of good character and have no police record you would be lenient on me if I BROKE INTO the house of a deaf lady and raped her in her bed.  Is that right?

Judgements have been overturned because of you and your brainless comments.

In late 2007 the Court of Criminal Appeal ruled that you were ‘unduly lenient’.  The month before that you had fucked up again.  This was when YOUR ignorant comments had put into doubt the sentence of a Dublin man who raped “with utmost barbarity”, but had his sentence brought down because YOU screwed up and this led to the sentence being reduced.

Or how about the time that you went bananas altogether and had a rape victim—against her terrified will—go down and face her attacker head on.  The list is endless with you.  So why is it exactly that in this country we are not able to get rid of you?

Why is it that we have to listen to our beloved Taoiseach Enda Kenny waffle on television last night that he will have to ask his Government to “reflect” on this?

Reflect on this, Kenny?  REFLECT ON IT? Why isn’t this guy out on his ample fat arse over the many screw-ups that he has been guilty of?  The man—or whatever the hell he purports to be—is an absolute embarrassment to this country.  And believe me that is really saying something with you at the helm.

His latest balls-up was on Monday when he listened to a brave, courageous woman called Fiona Doyle who had given up her right to anonymity in order to get justice served on the father who had raped her “as often as he would take his dinner”.

Because of you, Carney, that man walked free on bail with a big grin on his face. Well, after all, you were concerned about his age and his health!

Was he concerned about Fiona Doyle’s age and health when he ADMITTED to raping her on the day of her Holy Communion?  Was he concerned about that? Or is that another thing that Carney and the tosspot Kenny might have to ‘reflect’ on for a while?


I have a little knowledge of Judge Paul Carney myself.  You see, in 1993 I was working in the Shelbourne Hotel, Dublin when Carney, who had just been made a Judge two years previously—after serving a stint with the Progressive Democrats—appeared at two in the morning, screaming and roaring to be given a late drink.  When refused entry he began to kick and thump the door whilst asking all and sundry if they knew who he was. Because he’s not like everybody else.

The police had to be called eventually; but not before, according to one resident who was trying to gain access to the hotel, he had urinated around the corner.  Nice, Carney. Classy, that was. And you’re the guy who was upset that some of your colleagues don’t wear their wigs in court?

I spoke to some of the police months later and they were furious because, even though a file had been sent to the Department of Public Prosecutions, it had been decided to drop it.  Because you’re not like everybody else.

You were a disgrace then and you are more of a disgrace now.  You are a disgrace as a judge and you are a disgrace as a man.

Do you honestly think that you are untouchable?

Trust me, even with the shower of glove puppets that we have in Government at the moment, this time you have gone too far.

I don’t know exactly how they will get rid of you but rest assured—even if it means just putting you in charge of parking tickets—they will get rid of you.

This time they just must  put you out to pasture. My only regret is that you will no doubt have the obligatory Big Fat Golden Parachute payment to help you through your twilight years.

[Just as I finished this I hear that Carney has now gone back on his sentence.  You can be damned sure that he wasn’t worried about public opinion so it must have been some embarrassed political pressure, that’s for sure.

Caroline Counihan, RCNI Legal Director said:  “We commend Judge Carney for recognising and apologising for his earlier decision on bail and in taking swift action to revoke that bail for Patrick O’Brein.”

So now the poor old fella gets to serve a 3 year sentence (out in 18 months) for sentencing his daughter to a lifetime of hurt.  Just another day, just another screw-up.]


  But how do your grown-up children feel when they look into your eyes while you try to explain what you did?  How does your wife feel?

I hope that they have pity for you because I have none.  You see, I was one of the work-a-day slobs that you looked down on.

What goes around comes around, don’t you think?


This song, by The Kinks, is dedicated to you, Carney. It’s called ‘I’m Not Like Everybody Else.’

Enjoy that feeling whilst you can!