Are you sure you’re sitting down?  Because I’m about to tell you something that will shock you.  Ready?

I spent most of today in the company of a gay man – an openly gay man.  And I’ve known that he was gay since…well, since I met him several years ago.  Today we travelled to Dublin together to be with a mutual friend at the funeral of her father.

Do you know how often we spoke about his sexual inclinations on the journey up and back?  Not once.  Yeah, yeah, I know; it’s hard to believe in this day and age when that’s ALL we would be led to believe people talk about.

Here’s another thing.  I’ve been openly straight since…well, forever, to be honest.  And HE didn’t mention it once.  Not once.  Isn’t that incredible?

And then I get back home, look at the news and – dear God in Heaven — Leo Varadkar is at it again.  The Health Minister was apparently on the Ray D’Arcy Show telling everyone that “it is definitely a lot harder to stay in than to come out”.

Sweet Soul of the Sea, Leo; you know what is hard?  Watching and listening to you whine on and on with the Gay Card to cover up the fact that people are still lying on hospital trolleys and kids with cancer are never sure when they’re going to have their medical cards taken away from them.  I don’t give a bloody toss whether you’re gay or not!  And honestly, mate; neither does anyone else.  Just do your frigging job.

And then he has the cheek to say that he picked “a quiet time in the news cycle” to come swinging out of the closet.  No he didn’t.  He picked January when there was still a fair bit of moaning going on.  So that’s a lie.

“Well,” he confided to us over the radio, hoping that lightning would strike twice and he would be hailed once more as ‘a hero’, “you know what people are like in politics.  People would accuse you of trying to change the media agenda by talking about yourself.”

He said that, still talking about himself six months later.

For once we agree, Leo:  that’s exactly what I’m accusing you of.

Anyway, your fifteen minutes of fame are up; apparently there’s a new ‘hero’ on the cover of Vanity Fair magazine; some pretty decent looking 65- year old woman who used to be a bloke in the Olympics.  I found myself thinking:  wow, that’s a lot to put yourself through just for some television ratings.  I guess you have to hand it to him.  Or her.

Then I found out that he had kept the meat-and-two veg.  Now I don’t know what to think.

Leo, when you’ve finished telling us for the hundredth time how great you are for coming out of the closet, do you think that I could get some health care counseling to help with being a confused straight man?

Suddenly, I really, really need it.